Lately, I’ve been going through a rough period with hard exams and tight deadlines, hearing dates at work and overthinking my way through. At some point, I had to take a step back and ask myself whether this – everything I’m living now – is what I want for me.
There comes a time when everything goes south and nothing feels right anymore. That’s when big decisions are taken, whether it is taking a few days off from work for your own good, changing your career path or simply doing something for yourself, like buying a big bottle of Rose wine, for example.
I am an ambitious person, but even so, my anxiety kicks in when I’m thinking about where I am at the moment and most importantly, whether this is where I want to be. All these stressful mornings, running to fulfil deadlines, heavy files and great amounts of information (in too little time). It’s okay to feel overwhelmed because there is in fact too much to accumulate, to live and to feel at the same time.
Finding myself in this situation, I stopped. I took a big breath and I looked in the mirror. It was time for some big talk. My mental health takes priority over any deadline.
If you ever find yourself in my shoes, that’s fine. You are definitely not alone. In fact, I’m pretty sure that every single person aspiring to become a Solicitor and what not, comes to a time when the future is not so bright anymore. And that’s okay. The way in which we challenge ourselves, the boundaries, the nights where giving up is the easiest way out, the hard work and early mornings – it’s all part of the journey.
Finding purpose in what you’re doing is the key to all closed doors, to untangling those nasty thoughts and to caring for yourself. There’s always going to be bad times. It’s what you’re feeling when you win small victories in your career that matters. For example, at the end of the day, after all the stress and the hundred times I’ve said I’m not coming back to work tomorrow, I sit back and realise that my work changes people’s lives in one way or another. Winning a case could mean the world to someone, having a roof over his head for another day or continuing working towards his dream. And this is what I’ve always wanted to do, ever since I was too little to understand the strings attached to my dream. That’s what makes me wake up on the next day and start again.
Keep being persistent. You’re doing good. I’m proud of you.